Djokes

tehron
6 years ago

4

I got one:

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from @dloser

116replies
25voices
149views
dloser
6 years ago

0

That’s why he was inventing it: to receive them. Duh!

tehron
6 years ago

0

Ha, I tricked you! Reis invented the telephone! :p

tehron
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

I got another one:

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not @dloser**.

dloser
6 years ago

0

Many have, including Bell. I know, because I tried to call him to talk about his new invention “the telephone”.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser Doesnt have any zip on his Clothes. He has tar.gz instead

tehron
6 years ago

0

@dloser can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night!

dloser
6 years ago

0

Yes, Alex told me how when he finally invented the damn phone.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

i remember with friends we opened “nicknamehere’s facts” for some people and we posted a lot of stupid jokes aahah

? [bolofecal]
6 years ago

1

All arrays @dloser declares are of infinite size, because @dloser knows no bounds.

dloser
6 years ago

0

@Mugiwara27**: Please ban @1337boy for lack of proper djoke.

bigheks
6 years ago

3

I have a good dloser joke: he is second on the scoreboard.

HAHAHAHA

tehron
6 years ago

0

Really? Ha, never noticed.

Could you please attach a screen shot?


0

Include Top 6 this time please!

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

lol dloser, way too rough, as always

he’s second ? wtf ? Who’s leaderboards[0] then ?

dloser
6 years ago

0

At least the 0 is right…

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser is simply -1.

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

dloser is segmentation fault (core dumped)

dloser
6 years ago

1

Hmm.. can you ban yourself?

Reply has been removed
Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

dloser… I’ve already tried :(

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser ’s pc is so fast it boots during the shutdown

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

1

John may have walked on water instead of drowning. But @dloser can walk on the web, instead of surfing it.

? [bolofecal]
6 years ago

0

@dloser don’t use debuggers, he stare down until the code confesses.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

Dloser can compile code written on paper

DOSmaster
6 years ago

0

@dloser doesn’t even have to write code, on his PC code writes itself.

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

It isn’t dloser who code, it’s the code who dloser

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser doesn’t need authentication, it authentication needs dloser

tehron
6 years ago

0

@dloser died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser are you fat? because if you are fat i have tons of nice jokes

? [bolofecal]
6 years ago

1

Some facts about @dloser

When dloser throws exceptions, its across the room.
All arrays dloser declares are of infinite size, because dloser knows no bounds.
dloser doesnt have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
dloser writes code that optimizes itself.
dloser cant test for equality because he has no equal.
dlosers first program was kill -9.
dloser burst the dot com bubble.
MySpace actually isnt your space, its dlosers (he just lets you use it).
dloser can write infinite recursion functions… and have them return.
dloser can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
dloser finished World of Warcraft.
Project managers never ask dloser for estimations… ever.
dloser doesnt use web standards as the web will conform to him.
It works on my machine always holds true for dloser.
Whiteboards are white because dloser scared them that way.
dloser doesnt do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
dloser can delete the Recycling Bin.
dlosers beard can type 140 wpm.
dloser can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
dloser doesnt bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
dlosers keyboard doesnt have a Ctrl key because nothing controls dloser.
When dloser is web surfing websites get the message Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?.
dloser can divide by 0 without return error
When dloser access any terminal the $ automatically turns #
dloser can access private methods.
dloser knows the last digit of PI.
To dloser, everything contains a vulnerability.

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

lol, so many good ones, congrats bolofecal!

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

Dloser writes -1days exploit

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

There not even called that anymore, dloser renaimed them to dloserday exploits.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

every day is dloserday!

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

Except for when he doesnt give you the book of answers.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

Dloser is a bug itself that lets people get forum medals by Exploiting it Lol

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

He won’t give it! You can purchase the book only on the 11th…

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

I was thinking, what if dloser is an AI ?

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

Nice April fools joke @Mugiwara27

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

Dloser has sex with “touch gf”

? [bolofecal]
6 years ago

0

@Mugiwara27 I already think this too.

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

What if all the big players, such as @tehron , @Mugiwara27 , @flabbyrabbit , and @dloser are all just one person.

dloser
6 years ago

0

# touch gf  
touch: cannot touch `gf': No such file or directory  
#  

:(

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

root@kali~ touch gf -gf  
...  
gf.gf created!  
Be easy  
DOSmaster
6 years ago

0

dloser is so sick of people calling hashes “crypto”, he put a hashtag as console prompt.

jayssj11
6 years ago

0

dloser actually have a place like 127.0.0.1

dloser doesn’t solve challenges , challenges solves themselves when they see dloser

jayssj11
6 years ago

0

Normal situation :

Dad to son : When i was your age , i used to do all the work myself etc etc etc.

dloser’s situation

// i will leave it to you guys ;)

? [bolofecal]
6 years ago

0

@dloser can hack Google using only a typewriter.

tehron
6 years ago

0

@dloser once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser is good at getting rid of orcs. ;)

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

ARE WE SPAMMING AGAIN GUYS?

tehron
6 years ago

0

I vote for banning @1337boy for being OT!!! >> :p

Every @dloser joke is a five star joke just because it says @dloser.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser makes me OT while being already OT
YO DAWG

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

1

me and @mugiwara27 speaking about @anakinvader and his post

1337boy
17:05
now we wait for @dloser ’s reply. ahahah

Mugiwara27
17:06
He’ll probably say something too much intelligent for us humans lol

1337boy
17:07
this goes straight to d jokes ahha

AnakinVader
6 years ago

0

As dogs are to bark, some people are to mock.

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

As dogs are to bark, some people are to ban.

AnakinVader
6 years ago

0

[quote=]When you are mocking somebody, you are just trying to get rid of something embarassing within you
that makes you doing so. [/quote]

Mugi [Mugiwara27]
6 years ago

0

“Writing cringe shits into quotes tag in way to tell me that I’m stupid won’t make you more intelligent than you are.”

Annnnd here finish the fight, I’m not really into useless fight

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

[quote=Mugiwara27]Annnnd here finish the fight, I’m not really into useless fight [/quote]

only because you alread got your gold forum medal. <3

AnakinVader
6 years ago

0

i got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1337boy u are in love with Mugiwara27 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

SO YOU ARE HOMOPHOBIC TOO? inb4 ban

( btw i’m in love only with my gf with big boobs so yeah )

PPFB
6 years ago

0

AnakinVader you really have to understand something :
Those people could help you if you wasn’t insulting them. They’ve done most of the levels on hackthis and they have knowledge to share.
Would you share your knowledge to people who insult you ?

AnakinVader
6 years ago

-4

i don’t think so , ur main hobbies are “mock” “and "suck Mugiwara27’s 8====D” u dont have the time to have a gF

AnakinVader
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

-1

PPFB i understand , but everytime i ask something he is here to moke , if he have nothing to say why he is here ? to mock ?

PPFB
6 years ago

0

Of course the way he answered was mean and he shouldn’t have answered this way, but you immediatly insulted him :/
2 way it end :
- You ask pardon to each other and bury the hatchet
- One of you will be ban because it’ll get worse at every reply

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

you insulted both me and mugiwara now, which is a mod
and i’m not here to mock, i simply say truths. because it is true that you weren’t able to open a jar file, and it is true you weren’t able to install a certificate for a tool you don’t know how it works (and hey, a simply google search would have solved everything but again, you can’t even use google) in the same way as you tried to install another tool after failing with the first

now that we have undestood how bad you are, you started insulting everyone only because we are saying true statements and you are again so bad you can’t even properly defend youself… such a life in a hacker community man. it is not personal :)

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

Lets just ban everyone arguing for being OT and give @dloser his #1 spot back

Just kidding, F*** that. :P

AnakinVader
6 years ago

1

im not a kid so , i apolozise to both of them :) and if u want to ban me , do it im done

dloser
6 years ago

0

These latest jokes are not funny at all. I don’t get it.

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

I think it was the user, not the text. ;)

PPFB
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

dloser can end a for 1 to 2 statement with a step 0
improvisation intensify
EDIT : fck forgot the break for

DOSmaster
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

[s]@dloser never gets a “zero division” error when doing (0 / x) because with @dloser it’s always -1, even on the rank board.[/s]
Fixed in another comment :D

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

1

it’s x/0.. :P


1

That’s why it doesnt give an error :p

DOSmaster
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

[s]Wanne check. ;D[/s]
Shoot, I was incorrect. O.O
Thank you for notifying me. :O

FIX: @dloser never gets a “zero division” error when doing (x / 0) because with @dloser it’s always -1, even on the rank board.

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

@dloser value is i2… i = sqrt(-1), i ^2 = sqrt(-1)*sqrt(-1) = -1

tehron
6 years ago

0

@dloser counted to infinity in 10ms – twice.

jayssj11
6 years ago

0

Me:
what is dloser ?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

ba-da-tum-dass

cn9 [1337boy]
6 years ago

0

spoiler for captcha 1 + dloser joke

you can solve captcha 1 using
pytesseract.image_to_string(Image.open(captcha))[::@dloser]

Kerachi
6 years ago

0

I’m not sure it was worth it to read them for hours (it’s meant all of them topics about it)
it’s severe headache associated and deterioration also brings for my a sense of humor…

this is not a permanent injury, do not you?

DOSmaster
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

Djokes are a permanent blunt-force trauma.

? [bolofecal]
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

@dloser is a good guy he give Kibbeh for free to people that haven’t food. If cannot understand read the correct thread.

DOSmaster
6 years ago | edited 6 years ago

0

A diff between your code and @dloser ’s is infinite.

Abhi
6 years ago

0

I got one :
If Matrix was real , then @dloser is both the architect as well as the One . He interrogates himself and reboots humanity because he’s bored.
P.S. Sometimes , he also plays Trinity :P

BlackBox [Ransetsu]
6 years ago

0

that “why is 6 afraid of 7 joke never made sense to me. i didn’t understand the motivation until now. 7 8 9 because dloser told him to.

DOSmaster
6 years ago | edited 5 years ago

0

If the cake is a lie, then what is @dloser?

f0rk [HackingGuy]
6 years ago

0

The truth ;)

TH3 Cr3aToR [L3gand]
5 years ago

0

who is @dloser ?

SIGKILL [r4v463]
5 years ago

0

He’s the one who rule the 11th level.

c05503
5 years ago

0

dloser regularly receives correspondence from his best friend…

mailer-daemon

c05503
5 years ago

0

What does dloser have in common with a rock?

Both have no life.

c05503
5 years ago

0

When does dloser wake up in the morning?

When traffic starts to flow on the bridge above him.

Azrael [Vanitus]
5 years ago

0

Dloser has permission to use my D: drive

c05503
5 years ago | edited 5 years ago

0

  1. dloser
  2. Dictionary
  3. Grammar Nazi

Results from the Olympic event in being pedantic.

Time Void [Chronon]
5 years ago

0

Astronaut : sir, we have successfully landed on the moon
Earth : nice one, now we’re one step closer to @dloser station in Venus

what ? he’s supposed to be melted there
what are you thinking about ? he’s @dloser

f0rk [HackingGuy]
5 years ago

0

If jesus walked an water,
and Chuck Norris can swim through land,
then what does @dloser do?

x2600
5 years ago

2

dloser always wears a zero-day t-shirt.

Not because he’s into hacking, but because he’s keeping a chronology of when he gets laid

Time Void [Chronon]
5 years ago

0

@HackingGuy he dont need that, he teleport

Time Void [Chronon]
5 years ago | edited 5 years ago

0

@dloser the destroyer of signature, there’s no more PROGAMMER for you, no more spelling error, no more dumb quotes.

x2600
5 years ago

1

Everybody’s hyped about the touchscreen, but the screen just wants to touch dloser.

f0rk [HackingGuy]
5 years ago

0

100th!
All that’s need to said for a joke is this:

@dloser
x2600
5 years ago

0

But dloser is always 1st?

SIGKILL [r4v463]
5 years ago

0

ex-aequo here and first here https://www.wechall.net/ :)

x2600
5 years ago

0

Well - At least he’d laugh. He laughs at anything that isn’t 1st.

tehron
5 years ago

0

Who’s that @dloser you’re talking about all the time?!

x2600
5 years ago

0

dloser doesnt use web standards as the web will conform to him.

x2600
5 years ago

0

The poison null byte’s power to circumvent user input sanitization pales in comparison to the dloser nibble.


-4

@tehron But who invented missed calls/


-4

This might be the reason that concept of caller ID was introduced :D :D :D

tehron
5 years ago

0

Now, before this thread gets too much OT…

@dloser can send a text message using a rotary phone.

tehron
5 years ago

0

@dloser once typed a null byte in his terminal.

SIGKILL [r4v463]
5 years ago

0

@dloser can encrypt his 1TB hard drive with a one-time-pad… with a 1 byte key!

WHGhost
5 years ago | edited 5 years ago

0

I read this thread after 2 hours of homeworking, and I have to say that you guys made me laugh few times!

Here is one:

**root@computer:~#** ls -l  
drwx------ 1 [@dloser](/profile/dloser)   [@dloser](/profile/dloser)     1 oct.   5 20:29 1st_place  
**root@computer:~#** echo "root" > 1st_place  
bash: 1st_place: Permission denied.  
cn9 [1337boy]
5 years ago

0

oh no pls not this thread again ahha


0

dloser doesn’t have gf because he use pickup lines like:

i’d love to hack your box. xD

and tries to break the ice with questions like:

Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a computer?
A: Woman doesn’t accept 3 ½ inch floppies.

f0rk [HackingGuy]
4 years ago

0

I miss this thread :(

Darwin [DIDIx13]
4 years ago

0

Hahaha gold age of HT !

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